This story is here totally out of context. I mostly wrote it for my own personal training purposes, by my interest for aviation communications, literation and english language. There’s only the other part of this conversation, I left out the ATC and pilot(s) involved. 

Man, I’m a ground service agent. I don’t know what that is..

…Enough, get it to go. (--) …Couple of hours, I quess. But (--) I wouldn’t know how to land it. I wasn’t really planning to land it. 

…Just some guy who know all about it? 

Allrighty. (--) Yeah. I just go.. Wanna do some maneuvers, see what it can do, before I put it down, you know. 

...Little bit.

So I (--) My mic ca.. came of. I threw out a little bit. (--) Yeah. I.. Hold.. Shieet. Man I’m sorry about this. I hope this doesn’t ruin your day. 

...Yeah, Richard Russell.. 

...You guys to do?

...Yeah, yeah.. I really do.. How to.. This speed…

Oh hell yeah, it’s blast man. I have played video games before so… I (--) I know what I’m doing little bit. 

No, everything is peachy, peachy clean. Just did a little circle around Rainier. It’s beautiful. (--) I think I got some gas to go check out the Olympics and (--). Yeah. 

Uh, altitude… Maybe like 2500 feet? 

I threw up aall inside of it. It’s bad. 

...To join. I was thinking about it and (--)… Propably a good thing I didn’t.

Yeah that is all mumbles. I have no idea what all that means. I wouldn’t have (--) punch it in. I’m.. I’m off autopilot 

...To the jets.

Oh okey y-yeah I don’t wanna screw that. I’m kind a.. going not…  (--) You know, screwing up everyone else’s day. On account of me.  

I’m (--) down to 2100, started like 30-something. 

Yeah, I don’t know what the burn.. burnage.. burnout is like on (--) at takeoff but… Yeah, it burnt a quite bit faster that I expected.

Oh man, those guys will rough me up if I will try to land in there. I think... I think I might mess something up there too. I wouldn’t wanna do that. Hopefully… (--) They probably got anti-aircraft!

Yeah I’m not quite ready to bring it down just yet. But holy smokes, I gotta… gotta stop looking at the fuel because it’s going down quick. 

This is probably like a jailtime for life, uh? I would hope it is, for a guy like me. 

Hey (--) first of, you are little… You are little breaking up a bit. (--) Maybe I’m too far away. What’s the distance of this frequency? 

…You’re very calm, correct voice…

Nah, I mean, I don’t need that much of help. I have been playing video games before. I would like to figure out how to get this cabin altitude… Like I know where the box is… I would like to get some… (--) Make it… Make it pressurized or something, so I’m not so lightheaded. 

Yeah, I don’t know anything… (--) I dont know anything about the autopilot. I’m just kinda hand flying right now. 

…Minimum wages. We will… We will chalk it up to that. Maybe that will grease the gears a little bit with higher ups. Maybe… Yeah. 

I think I lost you behind … a little bit. I’m coming back.

…Something in to my ears?

Damn it ”air traffic controller’s name”, people’s lives are at stake here!

Nah, I have told you. I’m not… I don’t wanna hurt no one. I just want you whisper sweet nothings in to my ears. 

...Would have been better than trying to land it. Like I know how to put landing gear down. 

Yeah I got it like… Put it idle.

…Know you can do that with these things. (--) So I… What would… If you were to do it, how would you do it? 

Hey… If you think I would land this successfully (--) Alaska would give me a job as a pilot?

Yeah right… Nah I’m a white guy. They…

Yeah, you been there man, thanks... Hey FAA guy ”air traffic controller’s name”, you’re on?

…Land but, kinda not either. 

Dang. (--) Did you talk to McChord yet? Because I don’t think I would be happy with you telling me I can land like that because I could mess some stuff up. 

Hey I want the coordinates to that orca with the… You know the mama orca with the baby? I wanna go and see that guy. 

Back into water… Hey what’s there, what’s that airport right there behind me? Like to my left. 

…Oh that’s disgusting, one sec. 

Yeah. 

Hey is that pilot on? I wanna know what’s this weather gonna be like in the Olympics? 

Alright, because I.. I hit some (--) some like turbulence around Rainier, but thre’s no clouds hardly.

Oh, copy that.

I got a lot of people that care about me and I… It’s gonna disappoint them, this… to hear I did this. (--) I would like to apologize to each and every one of them. (--) Just a broken guy… Got a few screws loose, I quess. Never really knew it until now. (--) Just, you know. 

…That easy to come by? 

Man, have you been in to the Olympics? These guys are gorgeous, holy smokes… 

…But… Think I have… Be here. 

Alrighty. (--) Hey pilot guy, can this thing do (--) a back flip you think? 

…Gonna land it. (--) Like a … in a safe, safe kind of manner. Think I’m (--) Think I want to try do a barrel roll and if that goes good I just go nose down and call it a night. 

…Just kind of lightheaded, dizzy… (--) Man. And you know the sights went by so fast. Dude I was thinking like, gonna have this moment of serenity, you know, be able to take in all the sights… (--) It was pretty stuff but… (--) But I think they’re prettier in a different context.

…Where been at this all time.

…2500 to be exact.

Oh man, not enough! Now something like.. (--) like a 760, 760 pounds. 

I’m… gonna do this barrel roll real quick. 

I would mind to shoot the shit with you guys, but all bisnes, you know. 

I feel like I need to be… What you think like, 5000 ft at least, to be able to pull this barrel roll up? 

Aaall right. Ah, damn it! I dont know man, I dont know! I don’t want to. I was kinda hoping that was to be it, you know…

…Long. I feel like one of my engines is going out or something. 

Sources: 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUt-W8Fcpyw
https://forums.liveatc.net/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=14779.0;attach=10057